Rumusan Peperiksaan

Resident exam tamat sudah. MCQ was on Monday. I have no civilised word to describe it. Long case plak was on Wednesday. I was fairly calm before the hospital list came out. The s*#t started at 5pm on Tuesday when I found out that I had to go to Vincent’s Hosp. The anxiety really took hold of me, gripping to the very core. I’m not exaggerating. Tak pernah aku cuak camtu for an exam. That night studied some stuff especially CF. Kinda hoping dapat CF coz dah study quite thoroughly about it eventho tak penah amek history or met someone with CF. Slept earlier than usual, although spent a good while staring at the ceiling before I managed to sleep. Dearest rommie lak watpe ntah tgh2 malam buta tu, I was awaken a few times by the noise. Annoyed? I don’t hafta answer that.

Woke up with a tired mind (duh!) and one red eye. Red, as in bloodshot red, it looks kinda scary, like pontianak’s one I tell ya. Let me prove my point:
No, no, it’s not conjunctivitis. It’s totally painless. That’s why I didn’t pay it any attention coz for God’s sake, I have an exam to attend to!

And don’t say anything about the eyebag. Be nice okey.

Oh yes, back to the exam. My turn was at 8 am. C’mon, haven’t they tortured us enuff? The first three buses didn’t stop at our stand, surprise surprise, the buses are full on Wednesday morning. *pffffftttthh* No way I’m gonna waste my money by taking a cekik-darah cab of Dublin, let’s just say I have quite a talent of getting thru a stampede of irritated people into the fourth bus that akhirnya chose to stop.

Reached Vincent’s on time. The beast called panic tagged along, decided to not leave me alone. Huhu. The doc brought me to the second floor, as told by A to be where surgical wards are. The patient, Mrs S.C was a very lovely lady. She came complaining a malaena. So I thot, I had done this kinda case a few times before, should be no prob for me…regrettably, Calm never visited. I tried to collect myself together, deep breaths, prayers..I tried all...but I messed it up still. My stuff kept falling on the floor. I kept asking the patient same question a few times. I forgot the important risk factors for the condition. I just couldn’t think straight. When the examiner stepped in, and I saw especially the surgeon’s name, I knew I was in a tight spot. My presentation? I stumbled, I mumbled, I froze, how else to describe the mess I made. Q&A wasn’t any good either. Physical examination part…I was asked to check for incisional hernia, axillary lymphadenopathy and ankle reflex. The surgeon didn’t seem impressed I must say.I have excuses u know. Excuses. Read: everything was really my fault, my own weakness. Incisional hernia, never been taught how to check for one. Axillary LN, only once saw Dr.S did it. Ankle reflex, couldn’t elicit it even with reinforcement! But I blame that on the patient’s underactive thyroid. Heh.

All in all, my exam didn’t go well. The ‘cry me a river’ episode took place only when I was alone in my own room. Felt helpless at that moment coz couldn’t call my parents who are in Beijing, couldn’t reach B coz his hp buat hal again. Didn’t want to bother my housemates coz it’s their turn for the exam the next day.

One thing I’m glad about the exam tho’. I made sure the examiners saw me washing my hands at the end of it all. I hope that’d be enuff for them to pass me.