A doctor's prayer

Help me to put aside my superficial needs to fulfill my deeper ones
Show me how to care for people in the way they need to be cared for
Strengthen me to put aside my own needs when necessary but recognize them when I must
May I one day be at peace with where I am right now
Allow me to be the best I can be for myself and others
Give me strength, hope, and perspective to meet each day

oh so adorable!!

check this out!


View more video clips at Yashi

my wish

Strange & Beautiful

Someone very dear to my heart gave me part of the lyrics some time ago....havent listened to the song actually, until recently i heard this one song in somebody's blog and the wordings hit me..oh so this is the song! Such a beautiful melody..yet so sad.....

Artist: Aqualung
Song: Strange and Beautiful

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart, I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me..
Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...
I'll put a spell on you, You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me............

Been trying to find the free mp3 to download..tak jumpe! Will someone help me please? I'm a bit hopeless about download2 stuff ni...

We Will Rock You

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2114552886564149673

So kawai!!

Quick Update

Went to Spain for a week. A dream came true. Loved the trip! Gonna write an entry on that later. Hafta finish the medical ethics and legal med essays first *Ppfffffftttthhh!* Love the subject (ethics, not legal med!!) actually, but to talk about it in 2500 words? Why do u think there's no intellectual reads in my blog??

My beloved aunt dapat posting ke Muazzam Shah, Pahang. Whereabout? Near Kuantan. That's all I know. The place doesnt sound too rural to me. A pekan perhaps. Tok Ayah and Wan must be a bit disappointed. I know how badly they want C.sue to work in Kelantan, to stay with them in their old days. Myself..rasa sedih sikit..nanti tak dapat selalu hang out dgn Csue when I go back to Msia. She's been staying with us in KL for a few years when she was working in Putrajaya. She's mama's youngest sis, only a few years older than I am..so she's like a big sister to me....the funny thing is, Csue is petite and I am 5'8"...she calls me KakLong (eldest sister) and I call her Csue(youngest sister)..when we hang out, surely people think that I am the big sis!Erm..suddenly I miss her so much...

My sis, dah dapat herPMR results...alhamdulillah..I'm so proud of her achievement...is she going to a boarding school like her KakLong? The offers (if there is one for her) usually arrive in January/February, so we'll just wait and see. Kalau Mirah pegi boarding school..tinggal ler Lisa je kat rumah to teman Papa and Mama. Ermm..abesler...makin spoil le adik bongsu ku itu... ;P

Adios.

Rumusan Peperiksaan

Resident exam tamat sudah. MCQ was on Monday. I have no civilised word to describe it. Long case plak was on Wednesday. I was fairly calm before the hospital list came out. The s*#t started at 5pm on Tuesday when I found out that I had to go to Vincent’s Hosp. The anxiety really took hold of me, gripping to the very core. I’m not exaggerating. Tak pernah aku cuak camtu for an exam. That night studied some stuff especially CF. Kinda hoping dapat CF coz dah study quite thoroughly about it eventho tak penah amek history or met someone with CF. Slept earlier than usual, although spent a good while staring at the ceiling before I managed to sleep. Dearest rommie lak watpe ntah tgh2 malam buta tu, I was awaken a few times by the noise. Annoyed? I don’t hafta answer that.

Woke up with a tired mind (duh!) and one red eye. Red, as in bloodshot red, it looks kinda scary, like pontianak’s one I tell ya. Let me prove my point:
No, no, it’s not conjunctivitis. It’s totally painless. That’s why I didn’t pay it any attention coz for God’s sake, I have an exam to attend to!

And don’t say anything about the eyebag. Be nice okey.

Oh yes, back to the exam. My turn was at 8 am. C’mon, haven’t they tortured us enuff? The first three buses didn’t stop at our stand, surprise surprise, the buses are full on Wednesday morning. *pffffftttthh* No way I’m gonna waste my money by taking a cekik-darah cab of Dublin, let’s just say I have quite a talent of getting thru a stampede of irritated people into the fourth bus that akhirnya chose to stop.

Reached Vincent’s on time. The beast called panic tagged along, decided to not leave me alone. Huhu. The doc brought me to the second floor, as told by A to be where surgical wards are. The patient, Mrs S.C was a very lovely lady. She came complaining a malaena. So I thot, I had done this kinda case a few times before, should be no prob for me…regrettably, Calm never visited. I tried to collect myself together, deep breaths, prayers..I tried all...but I messed it up still. My stuff kept falling on the floor. I kept asking the patient same question a few times. I forgot the important risk factors for the condition. I just couldn’t think straight. When the examiner stepped in, and I saw especially the surgeon’s name, I knew I was in a tight spot. My presentation? I stumbled, I mumbled, I froze, how else to describe the mess I made. Q&A wasn’t any good either. Physical examination part…I was asked to check for incisional hernia, axillary lymphadenopathy and ankle reflex. The surgeon didn’t seem impressed I must say.I have excuses u know. Excuses. Read: everything was really my fault, my own weakness. Incisional hernia, never been taught how to check for one. Axillary LN, only once saw Dr.S did it. Ankle reflex, couldn’t elicit it even with reinforcement! But I blame that on the patient’s underactive thyroid. Heh.

All in all, my exam didn’t go well. The ‘cry me a river’ episode took place only when I was alone in my own room. Felt helpless at that moment coz couldn’t call my parents who are in Beijing, couldn’t reach B coz his hp buat hal again. Didn’t want to bother my housemates coz it’s their turn for the exam the next day.

One thing I’m glad about the exam tho’. I made sure the examiners saw me washing my hands at the end of it all. I hope that’d be enuff for them to pass me.

We are meant to be together!

wohoo!! my summer ride is my lil beetle bee!! See..we are so gonna to be together! *a hint to my other B!* LOL!

Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible

Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

What's" Your Summer Ride?

matrix ping pong

This is awesome! Definitely a great 'take 5' from all the studying! --> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8079411349144989883

Oh ye..dah dapat jadual long case xm..so it's mcq on Monday, and long case on Wednesday. really really hope dapat exam kat Mater!!

Finally..dah abes bincang past years questions yang berlambak2 tu dgn IRP group diorng. Thanx korang for letting me join the discussion. Nak harap aku jawab sorang2...mau jadi weng aku! ;P

Hafta go back to the books..

P/s: Pray for me too..please?

Chick Fights

Just watched this video of 'chick fighting'. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5327558281233743554 . I felt sick after just 10 secs. How could these women be so violent?

Anyway, if u chose to watch it..just see the way they fight..there's this pattern..hair-pulling..aimless punching and kicking ( altho mostly it seems like the ears become the victim. ) ..i think it's partly because they tend to bend their head down while fighting...

Reti pulak nak jaga the pretty face eh?

GH experience

Only 1 week left in Mater, and then 1 week study leave. Mesti ramai patients kena 'harass' dgn students next week..sumer desperate nak practise masing2 punya examination skills. Ingat lg my own experience masa hospitalised in GH. Masa tu form 3, thot it was sumthin to do with the vigorous netball practise. Damn my leg hurt so bad that time. Everything happened quite fast. My left leg swollen up and got really red that I scared it might burst. Couldnt walk at all. Was a bit paranoid initially, thot I could never walk again. Heh. Besides, I dont remember any doctor giving me any kind of reassurance. They left me with my own theories and fear. Huhu. So dont do that ok my dear doctor-to-be friends?

Mula2 kena scan kat HUKM and they couldnt reach a definitive diagnosis. (Now I know what the scan was..it was Doppler's ultrasound) They thot it was some clot ( DVT lah ) but I was 15, like too young to get a DVT (that's what i remember from their conversation). So they referred me to GH. Dipendekkan cerita, I got intramuscular cellulitis. Was put on a course of iv and oral antibiotics. Almost everyday a bunch of students datang tengok kaki ku. Sometimes dengan dr, sometimes tak. Mula2 tu oklah, I could handle it, altho segan giler. Yela..diselak2 nye selimut ku! Huhu! Tak ingat lah about them asking permission. Maybe they did. But honestly I didnt know that I could say no. So what i did to avoid them students? Buat2 tidur...hehe..Spent 1 good week in GH..rasala guna wheelchair and crutches..patient RIP kat katil sebelah..malam2 yang hening kat ward...what an experience!

And it isn't the experience that direct me to this medical route I'm on now...

my new pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

latest updates

Lama sungguh tak update. Raya ramblings pun tak sempat nak tulis. Well, I always have the exam to blame. And sudoku too. I dont do sudoku in the newspapers anymore, partly bcoz i dont have access to one. I, now, do sudoku online. It's cool coz you can compare your performance with others. I am now above average in solving the medium sudokus. Talking about exam pulak, it is 4 weeks away. I could feel the tension and stress from every corner of the hospital, and of BV too. From within myself, yes too. But the motivation to study..it's not parallel..sigh...

Raya tahun ni...tak semeriah tahun2 lepas. Perasaan tu 'kureng' sikit. Why eh? Baju raya ada (my housemates commented that my colour scheme never changed), makanan raya ada, kuih raya from mama sampai malam raya (this was a huge YEY for me!), open house invitation banyak. What was the missing element? I missed people in Msia every raya. Well, I always miss the people in Msia alright. No difference about that in this raya. But there were no 'cry me a river' moments this time. So what was it? Boredom?

I was doing ENT that 1st raya week. Skipped most part of the rotation.Felt guilty for a while, but ENT will not be in this coming xm, so..guilt erased! ;)

Last week did ophthalmology. Loved it! Actually, as a result of that rotation, I put ophthalmology in the specialty list together with GI medicine. Am doing colorectal surgery right now, for the next 3 weeks. I like it so far, becoz i so suka the consultants. hehe. Tomorrow am going into theatre. Probably will see some laparoscopy or colectomy. Hope i wont get dizzy again like that day. But there was a reason, i didnt sahur...

ok..hafta study perioperative management...daa...

He

"He needs to be big enough so you can both take cover under his coat when it rains. Small enough for you to wrap your arms almost around. Strong enough to restrain you from leaving too easily. Gentle enough to know when to leave you alone. And man enough to know when to give you his hand..." .....Someone thought of these beautiful notions. She also said that's the mark of the right one. You're the only one who can confer him that title...ermm...

My Latest Obsession

Great company on the bus ride to and from the hospital. I'm thinking about buying the sudoku book. Those in the Metro or HeraldAM aren't enough.

Today's Sniglets.

One of the habits I have: Caffidget (ka fij' it) - v. To break up a Styrofoam coffee cup into several hundred pieces after consuming its contents. Cool word eh? I caffidget. But not into several hundred pieces. Just enuff to make the cup mildly unrecognisable. But I don't only caffidget, I wreck the paper plates too.

Wow, I am barbaric.

But those happen in situations like if I've finished eating or drinking but the conversation still going on. You know..just wanna a good listener. Heh.

Another cool vocab:
Grantnap (grant' nap) - n. The extra five minutes of sleep you allow yourself that somehow makes all the difference in the world. But it does make a difference. That's why they created the snooze button on alarm clocks.

i want this car in lime green.or blue. or red.

This is my neighbour's car. Setiap kali kluar rumah, akan nampak kereta ni, if the neighbour hasn't go out lah. Huhu..i really want this car. It's perfect. Proportion yang cantik. Papa said it was rm 240K when it was first out in the market, which was 3-4 years ago. So now should be cheaper. But still, VW maintainance in Msia is expensive. Just like if you use jaguar or rover lah. Tak dapat VW, Nissan Micra is good enuff. It's cheaper, and it looks almost like this VW. But it must be in red or lime green. Kawaii! ;)

I dont know much about cars, of course. Whatever i know is from papa or B. B must be laughing his heart out when he reads this blog. Yes, I'm scared of driving. But I still talk about what kinda car I want to own someday. I dont know why. Scared that other drivers might hit me? Scared that I might hit somebody? But, I am scared of many things. B can testify that. My best friend P always says "ko ni harap badan je besar!". I think I need a therapy lah..

My Irish Name

Your Irish Name Is...

Chloe Boyle

What's" your Irish Name?

OMG! I do act my age?

You Are 23 Years Old

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

of eid card and Arthegeorgia

Done with the eid card design and printing. A bit tired of the hassle. It was time-consuming as well. I usually enjoy doing this kinda stuff, but the timing for this one isn't good. The mcq and clinical exam will be in a few weeks time. The books are mounting on my desk (partly because malas nak kemas.hehe.). Fortunately the deadline for ethics and legal med essays was postponed. If not i could be crazy with all the workload.

A bit sad lah. The knack for art has been rusty, very rusty. Design software? Na'ah..definitely not listed in my CV. I'm only humbly capable at the old style art. I miss SSP days. Had fun with the SPM Art subject. The people were cool as well. We even had a very cool nickname for our class. I think it was Arthegeorgia, coz 5 Jaya was a combination of Art and a number of Geography students. While other people who took Account and Geography studying and doing endless homework, we the Art people enjoying ourselves at the Rumah Besar. (See, we even had a place of our own!). We did have homework and projects too, but it wasn't as stressful. It was all fun and relaxed. We had outings, trips and mural projects. Doing the mural for Merdeka celebration was the best I guess, the principal even gave us time off classes to paint the mural. Well, the privilage was slightly abused, coz I knew we could finish it earlier than we actually did. We worked hard alright, but we also played hard. hehe. I remember someone had half her face painted blue, another had yellow, a few other people doing some other crazy stuff as well. Myself? Ermmm..... ;)

Wish I could travel back to those times. Less worry. More fun. Or not?

Oh yes..the poyo guy didnt keep his promise. I dont care anymore. I just have this severe dislike for him. Bad, I know. But it's temporary. I dont dislike people for very long time, I think.